By Beatrice Mokwunye:
Every woman craves for a love-lasting relationship: a controversy-free union that would live on even after many years.
But, unfortunately, not all women see a glimpse of its reality. About 50 percent women are living under the glittering facade of unhealthy union, today.
Seeing this issue as a kind of epidemic marital disease, I began a critical study on the pros and cons of several relationships, particularly why blooming courtship would result into a gloomy union.
In the course of my studies, I observed a stinking trend: during most courtship, the signs of violence and incompatibility always pop up periodically–sometimes once or twice in every three to four months, but the women involved are always love-blinded to see.
The moment women fall in love, they shut their minds, eyes and heart from decoding the man’s shortcoming. Even when he’s killing them, “but I still love him,” they would say. It is good but not great enough because what you choose to ignore in a young relationship will eventually tear your heart apart maritally.
So, how do I identify “Mr. Wrong?”
WHEN HE MAKES YOU THINK LOW OF YOURSELF
The beauty of every relationship is that partners feel good and worthy of themselves–their appearance, shapes, sizes, heights and colors as well as their values, beliefs and passions. They complement each other’s efforts and accommodate their shortcomings.
So, If a man cannot love and appreciate you for whom you are he’s not worthy of you. You know why? The scripture tells us that everything God created is “great”—that includes you. The scripture says “you’re beautifully and wonderfully made,” that you’re a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a peculiar person…Simply put, everything about you is unique. You are already perfect, too alluring to behold. But, guess what? Only the ideal man can see this uniqueness and perfection; others will ridicule it.
WHEN HE CALLS YOU MOSTLY FOR SEX
A real man—a reputable man who values God and womanhood, who respects women’s body parts. A man who knows the direction he’s heading to in life, who care about life and humanity can never, that man can never sex-chat with you. He won’t dare call you at 2:00 am or buzz you on socials only to arouse your sexuality. Nor, invites you to his house regularly for his own sexual gratification. This is a critical sign to observe.
WHEN HE SETS ALL THE RULES
Men are naturally domineering and imposing; nevertheless, in a relationship setting, partners must be willing to dance to each other’s tune. Know when to be assertive and when to be vulnerable. So, if a man is the dictator, the commander-in-chief and the lawmaker of your relationship, you had better think twice before professing “I do–” there are 65 percent chances that you’ll end up in his kitchen and rule only in his living room and bedroom.
WHEN HE KEEPS YOU FROM FRIENDS AND FAMILY
The fact is your family and close friends are your asset—you can’t survive without their love and support. They have been there for you over the years, loving and sacrificing all for you, before the “Mr. Right” bump in. Why then should he shot them out of your life? Look, nothing should ever take the place of friends and family. These are your source; when all is gone, they would remain. If he loves you, he would cherish your background.
WHEN HE BEATS YOU
Multiple studies have shown that a man who beats a woman is irresponsible, monstrous and evil. He’s capable of anything—rape, wife-battering, infidelity or even committing an uxoricide–wife-killing.
If, while in courtship, he beats you, dear friend, you’ve got to think twice before saying “I do” because nothing can stop him from making you a punch bag. A lot of women who ignored this very sign are in the grave now. Domestic violence, wife and girl-friend killing is endemic these days; shine your eyes.
Push love aside, for now, and shine your eyes.
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