By Beatrice Mokwunye
When we are asked to talk about ourselves, it is much easier to say. “I am Beatrice-Faith; 20-year-old female, a writer and speaker at HealingLabs. From Delta state, Nigeria, I’m a Christian, fair in complexion, petite in stature and a lover of books, arts and women.” Pretty good and well detailed and analyzed, isn’t it?
But, what if we are asked to “define ourselves” without the external features, backgrounds, likes or dislikes; Just to define who we are—our potentials and flaws; values and desires; biggest motives and deepest fears; hopes and aspirations—within 5 minutes. No jittering, stammering, nor mincing of words. How effective would it be within five minutes? That is where self-awareness comes in.
Those with self-awareness are women, among others, who are in touch with their own feelings and emotions, their greatest abilities and disabilities, their fears and motives. They strictly understood their values, yearnings and shortcomings. They know exactly what they are made of: the kind of power they posses that are not found in others. Simply put, self-aware women know what works and what does not for them. And, for every woman who wishes to succeed in life, at home, studies, careers or any other endeavors, you cannot afford to undermine the power of self-awareness or discovery.
Self-awareness enables you to love and appreciate yourself more. I know this might sound funny and rather too weird: it took me 18 good years of my life to boldly look in the mirror and realize “I’m actually beautiful.” Before then, I would compare myself to other beautiful girls and heave a sigh “God why didn’t you give at least a little beauty like one of these.” I practically loathed my physique and everything about me. My confidence level dropped; life became meaningless and unfair. But, since I realized that aspect of my life, that I’m not only beautiful but unique and gorgeous inside and outside, I’ve never ceased to love and appreciate who I am. Without self-awareness, you can never appreciate the greatness in you.
By understanding who you are, you can dare the giant, tear down the wall and break in to your greatness. “How could you fight him?” King Saul told David when David wanted to challenge the Philistine’s giant, Goliath, “You’re just a boy, and he has been a soldier all his life.”What was David’s response? “Your Majesty, I take care of my father’s sheep. Whenever a lion or a bear carries off a lamb, I go after it, and rescue the Lamb. If the lion or the bear turns to me, I grab it by the throat and beat it to death. I have killed Lions and bears, and I will do the same to this (bloody) Philistine (1 Samuel 17: 33-36).” Notice the confidence oozing out of the young man. He knew the potentials that lived deep within him. That knowledge of himself magnified his past, little achievements, and made them a strong pillar to face the present giant, Goliath. A clearly defined self-awareness invigorates the courage to ‘tear down every wall,’ break the bars and make your way to victory. In few words, self-awareness brings victory.
Ralph Ellison, author of “The Invisible Man,” said something fascinating. He said: “When I discover who I am, I’ll be free.” Do you know that we unconsciously cage ourselves? When we give in to self doubt—you cage ourselves. We give in to fear, anxiety, criticism and condemnation—we unconsciously cage ourselves. We deny ourselves opportunities, inner strength and creativity. But, the moment we delve into our inner world, to discover who we truly are; then, we’ll be set free to live the life we desire.
Self-awareness helps a woman build healthy, loving relationship. You cannot understand others if you don’t understand yourself. The same way, it’s impossible to build a better relationship with anyone unless you’ve successfully built a stronger relationship with yourself. It’s simple as that.
The same way you cannot survive without water in the desert, you cannot reach the peak of your destiny without self-awareness. Knowing who you are gives you the privilege to love and appreciate yourself. It sets you free from doubt, fear, criticism and condemnation—the biggest enemies of greatness. Understanding yourself empowers you to build a healthy, loving relationship, and, above all, genuine self-awareness triggers the nerves to challenge any giant.
So, how do I develop genuine self-awareness? Join my next post on “Discovering Who You Are…”
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