By Beatrice Mokwunye
Hostility can come in different form–rejection; emotional, physical, sexual and verbal abuses; social isolations, among others. We can experience hostility anywhere–at homes, religious gatherings, learning centres, offices and other significant places.
It pains so much because, in most cases, the inflictors are usually people we care about or crave their approvals and, also, because we cannot do anything to change the environment. This is actually the continuation of my previous article on How to Survive in a Hostile Environment Episode 1 In case you missed it, I encourage you to go over it first before you continue on this page.
So, what would you do if you find yourself in a hostile environment?
Being able to take charge of your life is the act of proactive mind. It means responding to people and situations based on your values, not on their attitudes towards you. For instance, if you decide to show love and respect to everyone—these are your values. Now, you find yourself in this environment where everyone steps on your toes, treat you with disdain, in this regard, proactivity demands that you still show them love and respect them. Show them love instead of hatred; kindness instead of wickedness; smiles instead of frown and total submission instead of defiance. It is not easy I must admit, but treating people in a way less expected by them, it will change their heart towards you. When people mistreat you, they expect you to lose your self-worth, stay moody, sad, angry, or whatever emotional response at that moment. But, when you give them the opposite emotions—different from what they expect—it changes their attitude towards you.
- FOCUS ON BUILDING YOURSELF
Here is one truth you should know: deliberately or indeliberately, consciously or unconsciously, the major reason people rubbish you is to deplete your self-worth, for they know that without it, you can never amount to anything. That is why you must shift your attention from them and focus on building yourself—get out of your comfort and make do your best to fulfil your God-given purpose. I tell you, your success will shock them, and they will get out of their way to fit into your piority—that’s humans for you. Only your greatness will change them, so don’t ever allow the attitude of others set a limit to your destiny.
Silence breeds hostility. Human beings are wired to assume anything when the communication chain between you and them is tattered or broken. That could also be the reason they mistreat you.
Engagement, however, breaks that bond.There was this girl, I met in senior school, year one, for two years we didn’t talk—she started it, and I followed through. We both showed each other the true colour of hatred—social isolation was one and more. My reason was clear: she’s too pompous. I never knew hers until we broke that bond—we engaged and ironed out our differences. Funny enough, our assumptions about each other were not actually true—we eventually became very close friends till this moment.
What am I saying in essence? If someone is too mean to you, walk up to him/her and engage them in a meaningful conversation. Strike up a conversation that will make them pour out what they have against you. This strategy is highly effective for people of all ages but requires wisdom, because different personalities require different methods of approach. so you must handle it cautiously. Communication breaks the bar in a hostile environment.
To be continued…
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