What would you do when you meet someone the first time, probably in religious places, social functions, exhibitions, seminars or conferences? You admire virtually everything about this person and would love to connect with him or her, but you just don’t know how to simply because you’re scared of being embarrassed or turned down. I quite understand how hectic such experience could be, but you can’t allow fear stop you, so how do you achieve that?
KILL YOUR FEARS
The only demon on your path right now is fear, telling you things that on though possible but are true. Simply put, when fear tells you something, it is only 20 percent true, imagine how insignificant it is. For instance, fear can trigger your mind to believe that “this person will turn me down and get me embarrassed,” or “she might feel uncomfortable around me because of the pimples splattered over my face,” or “she’s too tall, beautiful and polished while I’m too short, ugly and broken; she wouldn’t give me attention…” These are 80 percent false—it is not true, believe me.
Remember how much guilt and regret you’ll suffer if you miss this chance of meeting this person, so give in to fear. Come on and come off it: kill that fear. How?
To kill fear, use what I call harsh positive declarations. Fear is strong you know, thus attack it with opposition stronger words. If fear tells you “she’ll turn you down,” your response should be “who cares? If she does, that’s her predicament, not mine!”
“She might not like you because of your smallish nature,” Your response should be “No way, point of correction, I’m neither small nor short, I’m fun-sized and besides, I’m one great creature every great person wishes to have around them.” Create harsher positive words for every thought fear pops into your head.
EMBRACE YOUR FLAWS
At the juncture of trying to mingle with some new, our focus usually centre on our flaws, especially the poor features—our small or massive stature, abnormal shapes and sizes of nose, ear, mouth, even teeth or eyes and sometimes, it could be the numerous pimples and dark spots on our faces. In most cases, our diction could be the barrier.
Whatever the flaws are, laugh at them. I’ve discovered this significant truth in my journey to overcoming low self-image: when you make a jest of your weaknesses, it builds your confident in them so, no matter how much jest anyone makes, it can never get to you, why? You’re fully aware of them [the flaws] and by laughing at them, you feel comfortable having them so right now, you don’t “give a damn.”
When you embrace your blemishes, nobody will look down on you.
SPEAK TO YOURSELF
Our mind is the grand controller of our body. That is, the body can never activate itself unless the mind is active; if your weak is weak to take action, that is because your mind is either asleep or dormant. Note: when the mind is positively active, fear gives way, doubt crumbles and weakness regains strength.
Self-talk is the greatest way to reawakens the mind—the best strategy to break personal barriers is to speak positive and empowering words to yourself which automatically radiates to and activate the mind. So tell yourself how important it is for you to connect with this individual. After saying this, remind yourself that you’re gorgeous, smart and physically attractive—that is important to as it deviates your attention on from your physical flaws.
STUDY THE PERSON’S PERSONALITY
Basically, human beings are grouped into two personality traits: introverts and extroverts. Introverts are often quiet and reserved; they don’t talk much while the extroverts are the talkative, so to say. Extroverts are more jovial and friendly, enjoys compliments, gist and all of that. These are few obvious features of the two personalities; we shall discuss them fully in subsequent blog posts—just remind me in case I forget smiles!
Each personality requires a different method of approach else you’ll feel turned off; however, take your time study this person’s look and the way he/she interact with the people around her; do you think she’s easy to approach or difficult on the outside. The whole essence of studying is to avoid being turned off or having a wrong perspective of this person—if you don’t understand people, you can’t relate well with them. So, just keep your eyes and mind on him/her.
TAKE THAT BOLD STEP
In her powerful book, “Say it Like Obama,” Shel Leane mentioned something fascinating about the first impression. She called that moment “a defining moment.” “The instant one person first moves into the presence of another, an opinion is formed. Even before you utter any words, you open a dialogue and have spoken volumes through image and body language—”Leane. Whether people will relate well with you or not depends on your first impression but don’t fidget right now, it’s easier than you think, here: go into a closet or anywhere you can comfortably ease your tension, stretch your muscles with hands apart; take a deep breath—four times preferably and smile once again at yourself. These few exercise helps relax your mind, strengthen the muscles, and get your super fired up. Now, walk up to this admirer of yours and remember to keep your shoulder straight apart, stomach in, a little bit and most importantly, smile genuinely.
Next session, we shall continue on how to strike up a meaningful conversation with this admirer of yours, smiles!But, hope this post was helpful. Kindly give us your feedback in the comment session.