The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said–Peter F. Drucker. To make communication sweet and easy-going, everyone is expected to listen while others speak for various reasons which we already discussed in the previous post. I f you missed it, quickly go over it here. There are top qualities that make good listeners comfortable to be around, in a conversation–those qualities are what we shall discuss in this post. Let’s get started. So, to be great a listener have the following interesting attributes:
Make eye contact. Eye contact gets you focused and attentive to the information being passed; in addition, looking at your interlocutor eyeball-to-eyeball builds a sense of camaraderie between you too—It shows them that you are fully interested in what they have to say, and as for you, making eye contact suppresses inferiority complex that emerges naturally, especially when you are meeting someone for the first time.
** Positive posture
Body language is highly important in communication. The kind of movement you make during a conversation determines the comfort of the speaker. Remember, most people like myself, would never want to open up to someone whose body language isn’t receptive. Positive posture makes communication lag.
*** No when to smile
Imagine yourself narrating to a friend how a dark vicious dog, in the neighbouring compound, tore your face with its furs, and this friend of yours kept her face all through, expressionless—no sympathy. Or she was laughing when you expected remorse. How would you feel? Would you want to continue the conversation? Probably, not.
Don’t interrupt the speaker
Good listening skill demands that you listen thoroughly without interruption. I quite understand this is almost the hardest thing to do, even I do flout this rule in most occasion. There are so many reasons why we are often tempted to interrupt rather listen on impatience, fear of forgetting what to say, garrulity of the speaker among others. Whatever reason there is, good listeners, do all they can to remain focused.
Don’t think of what to say
This is the meaty quality of great listeners: they are not concerned about what to say, but about what you [the speaker] are saying. When you are busy thinking of what to say in return, you miss the concrete and the meaty part of the message passed on.
Another interesting thing good listeners do in a conversation is giving feedbacks in forms of gestures like nodding along with eye contact, follow-up words and phrases, for example, “yeah!” “oh, I see” “wow!” “Pretty great” “sure!” and the likes. Positive feedbacks are what great listeners use to stir the course of conversation. Feedback also gladdens and strengthens an interlocutor to open up more, in a conversation.
Lastly, at the end of the monologue, great listeners are able to understand, process, evaluate and finally reproduce the message either with the exact words of the speaker or in other words but within the same context of the information.