Peel the Mental Makeup 1: Not Everyone Will Love


“The easiest thing to be in the world is you. The most difficult thing to be is what other people want you to be. Don’t let them put you in that position.” 
                                                                               ― Leo Buscaglia

In the taxonomy of life, animals from different species cannot mate. Some, however, do not tolerate the presence of others. For example, the cat and the mouse. Although these family of these animals differ; in other words, they’re from a different world, yet the cat cannot set its eyes upon a mouse—even if it means entering a hole, the cat will until he devours the mouse. Yet, if you’ve noticed: the mice cherish one another and move in harmony. This leaves us with a fact about life: only those who belong to your world will love and appreciate you—no matter how good or bad you are.

Unfortunately, many of us live our lives with so many cravings. We crave for love, and approval from everyone and everything around us. To achieve this, however, we spend the lion share of our time, effort and money on clothes, make-up, accessories among others. Some give up their self-worth to please people. We choose to be a nobody in order to please everybody. If the love still doesn’t come or a few individual turn us down, we feel depressed and unworthy, “nobody like me because I’m not beautiful,” we sometimes conclude.

Some years ago, I had this state of mind. “Nobody liked me,” I thought. Nothing I do seemed to please anyone. People made fun of my poor features, taking it as a joke, but to me, it wasn’t. I avoid meeting new people for fear that they might not like me especially, my “big fat, man-like kind of leg.” An aunt was the first to put those words in my mouth “look at your leg like a man’s,” then, on the assembly ground one morning, a classmate marvelled “no wonder Faith is short! look at her big short leg.” So, I concluded, “I’m not good enough; not beautiful nor tall enough, to be liked by anyone.”

But, one encounter, one morning changed my perspective. I walked into a school administrator’s office for employment. I just graduated from high school and needed to keep myself busy while processing admission into the University of Ilorin, that year. As I entered the office, I noticed something: the lady’s expression. A black, tall and beautiful woman with teeth sparkling like light, she welcomed me with a smile. Not just that, after series of conversation (which I didn’t consider an interview–it was so friendly like she’d known me before). She offered me the job without resume nor application letter. “You can bring them later, she said,” Then, she told me the reason for the expression: “I don’t know why I just like you.” The expressions did not only shock me; it changed my view of life.

When people hate you, it doesn’t mean you’re not good enough; that is simply a sign that those people do not belong to your world. In other words, their presence cannot add meaning and light to your life.

No matter how good or bad you are, there will be lovers and there will be haters. But here is what you must realize: people who belong to your world and those who understand your value will always love and appreciate you—whether you are as beautiful as hibiscus flower, or as ugly as the chimp; whether you are the Bill gate of the universe or the Miss Nobody on the street; whether you are famous or insignificant—they will cherish your presence. Anyone who treats you bad or tries to change who you are does not belong to your world. Here this: Never force yourself to have a space in anyone’s life because if they really know your worth, they will surely create one for you (Anonymous).

By Beatrice Mokwunye

 

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