Mental Peels: There is no Such Thing as “Not Good Enough”

When I was an adolescent, my second-mother told me that I “look like someone suffering from HIV/AIDs.” She was indirectly referring to my necklines—too bony to behold.  Her words awakened my consciousness and since then, I became uncomfortable and inferior before other girl. To avoid ridicules, I would wear high-collar tops–Bishop-neck was my favourite then. One afternoon, during a discussion when I was complaining bitterly about my neck to my sister, she looked at me and said, “Babe, you’re lucky.” For what? I asked. “If you see how much aunt Nike craves for a bony neck like this. She said it is the beauty of slim people.” When I began to think about the statement, my orientation changed. Now I can expose it and still feel confident. But do we really need to wait for some to approve of us before we can appreciate who we are?

More than 92 percent of women and girls would like to change at least one part of their appearance. It is either the length and size of the nose, the lips and hip, or the skin colour, the burst or even their height. For some, it’s something as insignificant as the toe-nail. Others a Brazilian-kind of hair. And trust me: They would do anything to acquire that “admirable” physique. No wonder the cosmetic industry is soon becoming the hottest cake–if not already. But, this is where the problem lies: when they fail to effect the desired change in their appearances, they feel awkward, inferior and “not good enough.”

About years ago, everyone admired the fat, tall ladies. Then, almost all ladies worked to appear fat and “bursty”. If you aren’t fat and tall, you are “not good enough.” But now, reverse has become the case: In modelling, advertisement, marketing and other activities in the digital world, the slim are most preferred. Automatically, fatness now seems like a disease, so everybody is constantly craving for beautiful slim body shape. Every supermarket and shopping malls alike have on specific rows and columns loaded with varieties of slimming teas and fat-burning grocery products. I have suddenly lost count of the number of fitness centres within my vicinity alone. So, obviously, the slim are feeling more confident and comfortable within them while the fat “not good enough.” I wonder what the future will be when the trend shifts and the small people in the world (dwarfs) becomes the most adorable, most distinguished and appreciable. What will be the case of the giants? Will you say “I’m not good enough” because you aren’t a dwarf?

The greatest mistake you can make is to be what everyone else is. Because: in the process of trying to look good like everyone, you lose the true worth and the comfort of yourself. Everything that makes you gorgeous and unique will be lost when you fail to appreciate your natural appearance–when you constantly look at yourself in the mirror and look away with tears and regret. In the same way, happiness and personal validation are equally threaded in the process of trying to become like others or killing yourself for not looking good enough.  Mark Twain once said, “a man cannot be comfortable without his own approval,” and I totally agree with him. The truth is this: no matter how you try to impress people with your looks, not all will still appreciate you.

An anonymous quoted: if you are lucky to be different, don’t ever change. Every human being is gifted and different—they are unique and every part of our bodies is for a unique purpose. If you’ve got a big, flat nose—there is a unique purpose for it. If your height beg to reach the door handle, and your body size competes with that of a 6-year-old, that doesn’t mean you aren’t good enough. Imagine a dolphin feeling “not good enough” for not taking the size and shape of a whale. Why will he do that? Within itself, dolphin knows its uniqueness and is proud of it. That’s what we should all be like: proud of what we are made of—our features and general appearance. It is a wonderful gift you can ever get so, you should rather be happy to be different because of my friend: nothing happens in the crowd (when everyone wears the same faces no matter how gorgeous). Just imagine a dolphin feeling “not good enough” because he doesn’t look like a whale. Love what you are made of and take this as a challenge: peel off the “not good enough’s” in your dictionary. They are not real, meaning they do not exist. Every part of your body is unique—appreciate them all.


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